Ancient Voices

“Many were the ones
I wanted to love
but I kept
gazing at them
from afar.”

Su young stared out into the distance, pausing momentarily from her cooking, to push a strand of waving hair out of her face. The perspiration slowly dripped down the back of her neck as she kept stirring her pot of soup. Her back and shoulders ached with pain and her body was exhausted. She had been up all night doing housework and mending her father’s work shirts. Finally she turned away from the stove and looked as the sun began streaming light onto the open field outside the window. Soon her father and her brother would awaken, demanding their morning meal. Su young quickly set the table and prepared for the rest of her family to wake up. When her mother was sick Su young promised that she would look after the family once her mother was passed away. Now she was fulfilling her promise.
Once she saw her father off to work and her brother off to school, she began the long and arduous task of tending to the garden. Su young donned on her old work shirt and began to pull weeds out of the garden. They had the best garden, it supplied the family with most of the food they needed. As she was clearing away old leaves and pulling weeds in between her plants, she heard footsteps going past her home. They were heavy and walked with confidence. She looked up just in time to see the one that made her heart beat fast.
Quickly she looked back down at her hands working in the soil, and did not look back up until she heard the footsteps fade off in the distance. Su young hurried to the edge of the fence and looked over at the back of his head. Her heart ached and felt heavy as she watched him walk down the path and turn away out of sight. Su young could still hear the voices of the gossiper’s down at the marketplace in her head. “That Su young is getting of age. Her father should be looking for someone, and I’m sure Su young has someone in mind. Aie, but her father is still grieving over the loss of his wife. Maybe he forgot about how old his daughter is getting. If he waits too long though, all the eligible men will be snatched up. Remember how Su young was once betrothed to Yoon Ha, and then his father decided that Su young needed to stay with her own family and take care of them since her mother passed on. Poor Su young. She’ll never get married at the rate her father is moving.”
What the women down at the marketplace did not understand was that she could not get married. She could not let her heart get the best of her. She had to think of her family first, even if it meant sacrificing her happiness. She could not leave them unless she knew that they would be well taken care of.
Su young paused for a moment and looked at the Eunbangulkkot, the small herb growing in the garden. Its small white flowers looked as if they were also downcast, their faces toward the ground. Her heart began to grow weary as she thought about the many suitors her father had turned down for her. Even though she had many men that were interested in her, she was quick to dispel their feelings. She could not allow herself to fall in love with anyone, because if that happened it would break her heart to have to give up on their love. She could not help her heart at times. It did not listen to her mind. It had a mind of its own. No matter how hard Su young tried she could not help her heart beat when it became faster. She could not stop the way her eyes wandered around a crowd, looking for that special someone.
With a sigh, Su young broke away from her thoughts and turned back to the garden and continued harvesting turnip for the evening meal.